I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
