this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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