I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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