Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
