...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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