we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
