dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
