So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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