dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
