I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
