He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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