I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
