the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
