don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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