if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
