why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
