Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My cat gives me a boner
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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