you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is classic penis vs brain.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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