we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
