I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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