its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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