you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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