I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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