Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Less talking, more tequila
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
