She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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