It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
