Porn is love you can see.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
