I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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