Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
