Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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