dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
