she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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