I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
