I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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