I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
