To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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