Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
