We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
