i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
