at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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