4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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