you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bring me that man meat
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
