i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
