We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
