no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
