is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
