it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
