she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
