Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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