the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's like iHOP with fire
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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